Here is what Nate said on the 18th to start this drive to bring this holiday drive:
A famous Chinese philosopher once said, “Chee chung chee chung chee chung. Cho Ching Chung Chee”. An even more famous American philosopher by the name of Lou Dobbs said only Tuesday, “”And by the way, I’ve got to wish to you, each and every one, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! I do that, and I have to be honest with you, despite my fervent anti-ethnic holiday position. That’s right! I’m against St. Patrick’s Day. I’m against St. Columbus Day. Saint Joseph’s Day. I’m against all of those things. Is there, by the way, is there a Jewish, a Jewish ethnic holiday? Is there one? No? Okay. The Jews have disappointed me. I mean, is there a St. Mauritius? No? A Belize? I don’t know. We gotta have — there’s gotta be something else going on here! How about an Asian ethnic holiday? Is there one? You know, a Saint-Jing- Tao- Wow? Chinese New Year? All right, we can do that … I mean, what is with all of these ethnic holidays? I mean how about an American Day? How about were all the same kind of day?”
I was thinking that the 4th of July kind of celebrated Americans as does Thanksgiving, but not really our sameness. It occurred to me that what unites all of us as a country are ethnic stereotypes and the people who have propagated them out of fear that we would mess up the great little country they had hear. OK, The Indians may have been right, but otherwise from the 18th Century Germans in Pennsylvania to the Mexicans of today, this melting pot has always been just one more ingredient away from going bad so on March 31st let’s all celebrate the patron saint of ethnic and racial stereotyping Saint Jing-Tao-Wow.
Now, everybody can keep this day in their heart with their own traditions. I think celebrating the efforts of people like Lou Dobbs to keep this country pure is a great start, but let’s not stop there. Let’s really celebrate those sterotypes. I plan on opressing minorities and then dancing really poorly. If you’re Irish why not polish off a case of beer or have unprotected sex. Germans do something really efficiently and without humor. African-Americans–geez, take your pick. You guys are lucky you get so many. You Swedes, uhm I’ll get back to you.
When you decide how you plan to celebrate Saint Jing-Tao-Wow day proudly post it in the comments section. If you have your own blog and want to advance this holiday then post and we’ll give you some linky love. Remember, we’re doing this for Lou Dobbs. Let’s go out there and celebrate our stereotypes March 31st. Spread the word.