THE BEAST 50 MOST LOATHSOME PEOPLE IN AMERICA, 2008

THE BEAST 50 MOST LOATHSOME PEOPLE IN AMERICA, 2008 is in and it is some of the funniest I have seen... For example here is number 47...I am not sure I wouldn't have rated her higher but I haven't read all of them yet...but here it is...47:

47. Michelle Bachmann

Charges: Exemplifies the simmering, all-American fascism lurking behind the forced smiles of uptight church ladies throughout “real America.” Echoing Sarah Palin’s alarming hints about “helping” the media do its job, Bachmann’s casual call for a “penetrating” press investigation into “anti-Americanism” in congress was so fucking dumb it made Chris Matthews seem smart. Once it occurred to the Oral Roberts University graduate that calling for witchhunts against Democrats might be a tad extreme for election season, she decided to just pretend she didn’t say it, and then she blamed Chris Matthews. Then she just blamed words. Then she denied it again. Then she won. Way to go, Minnesota’s 6th.

Exhibit A: BACHMANN: Actually, that's not what I said at all. COLMES: Well, I'm just — I'm reading your exact quote. BACHMANN: Actually that's not I said. It's an urban legend that was created. That isn't what I said at all. COLMES: We have — it's on tape.

Sentence: Assigned to conduct her own “expose” on anti-American views, in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan

Then we have one of my favorites so far...Morning Joke...you remember him I am sure. He is rated as 34. WAY TO GO SCARBOROUGH!!!! WOO HOOO!!! PROUD OF YA BOY!!!!!

34. Joe Scarborough

Charges: An incredulous, squinting brat, who's turned "Morning Joe" into the "My Super Sweet Sixteen" of cable news, Scarborough has a decent shot at being named the world's largest toddler by Guinness. He treats his MSNBC coworkers with less professional courtesy than the dead intern found in his congressional office ("Mika, don't make me backhand you").Between tantrums, Scarborough provided a litany of partisan misinformation and deliberate misquotations this year, claiming that Obama was the most liberal member of the Senate and would raise taxes on everyone, that McCain called for Rumsfeld's resignation, never changed his immigration policies and had no association with hatemongers on the religious right. Joe's immaturity is also apparent in his cartoonishly simplistic take on the American electorate, whom he purports to know intimately, ostensibly by way of his own bigotry.

Exhibit A: “I remember during the Valerie Plame episode. Remember, Bob Novak told us from the beginning, "This wasn't an ideologue that gave me the name. This wasn't Karl – this wasn't a Bush operation." And liberals, ‘Oh, he's lying, da da da da da.’ And then remember earlier this year, Bob Novak -- and, of course, Novak was right.”

Sentence: Mandatory stint in Rageaholics Anonymous, nuts shaved live on "Morning Joe" by Pat Buchanan, pubes glued to face with a mixture of pulverized Cheetos and Jamie Foster's stool.

I love it... of course the emphasis is mine... I just wanted to make sure everyone remembered who Morning Joke is...I try to watch him most mornings...just so I can say I get my dose of republican every day...lol

This is another good one... 22.. PUMA's... remember these... I thought this was one of the silliest things anyone could try to say.

22. PUMAs

Charges: Redefining feminism as “supporting Hillary Clinton, whether she wants you to or not,” and “defending” that feminism by embodying negative stereotypes of women as irrational and scornful, there was no demographic more painfully dumb than aggrieved Hillary backers plotting to defeat Obama. Drunk on a dream of vengeance for their queen, this strange minority picked up every despicable, paranoid, racist talking point they could from the worst of the right wing, even complimenting Sean Hannity on his “fair and balanced” coverage of Obama. Desperately twisting words in a sad attempt to tar Obama as a sexist and willing to subject themselves and their country to a probable assault on reproductive rights in the name of spite, the PUMAs comported themselves with all the dignity and sense of a false rape accusation.

Exhibit A: It’s hard to choose, but nothing was more ridiculous this year than hearing an obscenely rich Hillary fundraiser named “Lady de Rothschild” describe Obama as “an elitist.”

Sentence: President Palin appoints Mullah Omar to Supreme Court.

Just a couple more...then I will let you read the rest for yourself...lol

Number 20..this one defies description... how someone totally made up goes from being no one to a hero of the right is beyond me. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you:

20. Joe the Plumber

Charges: The Che Guevara of bald, pissed off white men. In a lot of ways, Samuel Wurzelbacher really does represent the average American—basing economic opinions on unrealistic expectations of personal future success, blaming his failure to meet those expectations on minorities and old people, complaining about deadbeats getting his taxes when he isn’t actually paying his taxes, and advertising his own rudimentary historical and mathematical ignorance by warning of creeping socialism in a country whose highest income tax rate has dropped by half in thirty years. “Joe” indeed symbolizes the true American dream—to become undeservedly rich and famous through a dizzyingly improbable stroke of luck. As American folk heroes go, Wurzelbacher ranks somewhere between Hulk Hogan and Bernie Goetz.

Exhibit A: "Social Security is a joke...social security I've never believed in, don't like it. I hate that it's forced on me."

Sentence: After blowing his fifteen minutes and all his money on coke and Thai hookers, an infirm, elderly Joe finds that social security actually is a joke, and is finally forced to snake toilets for a living.

And number 1 on the Beast list for 2008 is.............drum roll please...


1. Sarah Palin

Charges: If you want to know why the rest of the world is scared of Americans, consider the fact that after two terms of disastrous rule by a small-minded ignoramus, 46% of us apparently thought the problem was that he wasn’t quite stupid enough. Palin’s unending emissions of baffling, evasive incoherence should have disqualified her for any position that involved a desk, let alone placing her one erratic heartbeat from the presidency. The press strained mightily to feign respect for her, praising a debate performance that involved no debate, calling her a “great speaker” when her only speech was primarily a litany of insults to city-dwellers, echoing bogus sexism charges when a male Palin would have been boiled alive for the Couric interview alone, and lionizing her as she used her baby as a Pro-life stage prop before crowds who cooed when they should have been hurling polonium-tipped javelins. In the end, Palin had the beneficial effect of splitting her party between her admirers and people who can read.

Exhibit A: Waving her embryo-loving credentials, in the form of her Down syndrome baby, at "But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy."

Sentence: Hand-to-hand combat with Vladimir Putin and a pack of wolves.

There you have it...a few of the picks on the list. There are others too...From Alan Greenspan, Hank Paulson, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Bernard Madoff, John Edwards, Joe Lieberman and Jeremiah Wright, Eliot Spitzer, Ron Fournier and Keith Olbermann. So as you see there is a wide range of individuals who were named. Even PE Obama didn't escape. He is number 50 on the list. But you will have to check it out to find out what they say about him, because I refuse to trash him yet. Even in jest. And I am not sure they are all in jest on this site.

To me this is funny, yet it is also serious. Some of this stuff could have changed the election if more people had taken it serious. The PUMA's, Sarah Palin, even the Joke of the Morning...could have made the difference in the election and we would have President McCain instead of President Obama... and that is ONE VERY SCARY THOUGHT!!!!!!!!

I don't care what anyone says...the thought of McCain handling what PE Obama has on his plate right now...scares the hell out of me. And if it doesn't scare you...go read some of the Alaska blogs and newspapers. That will help you. Sarah Palin is a joke. She hasn't a clue what she is doing. Look at my blog list and go to Andrew Halcro's site or Celtic Diva's or Immoral Minority. See what they have to say. Gryphen at the Immoral Minority has a list of sites you can check out...from his site...that will give you a good idea..both progressive and conservative that don't agree with much of what Palin is doing or stands for.

Look at this list again...She is # 1 ...that tells you something...we have to stay involved. We have to stay aware. We have to keep talking as my friend at Watergate Summer says...so keep talking people...keep talking.

2008's Most Laughable Political Antics

In a year when everyone was looking for a bailout, politicians did more for political comedy than any other industry. We had governors gone rogue, reverends gone wild, shoe-throwers, imaginary snipers and, of course, everyone's favorite mavericky, Prada-wearing hockey mom. As a salute to those who made this the funniest year since, well, last year, here's a look back at 2008's most memorable feats and foibles.

Worst photo op: Sarah Palin's turkey pardoning fiasco -- a.k.a. "wattlegate" -- in which she pardoned a turkey at a farm in Wasilla, and then gave an interview while other turkeys were shoved into a cone of death and slaughtered in the background. As David Letterman joked, she can see Russia, but she can't see what's going on five feet behind her.

Least likely to be invited for a sleepover in the Obama White House: Rev. Jesse Jackson, who was caught on an open mic talking about pitching Obama's voice an octave higher, in a manner of speaking. Jackson was taking offense at Obama's suggestion that African-Americans needed to take more responsibility for things like fatherhood and being responsible husbands. To which Jay Leno quipped, "Jesse thought it was insulting, not only to him, but to his former mistress and their love child."

Best typo: In a story about potential vice presidential picks, the AP referred to Joe Lieberman as "the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000."

Shortest fuse: John's McCain's brother, Joe McCain, who called 911 to complain about being stuck in traffic. When the dispatcher asked if that was seriously why he was calling an emergency hotline, Joe the Hothead cursed him out and hung up. We might have never known about the incident, except when the dispatcher called the cell phone back, he got this message: "Hi, this is Joe McCain. I can't take this message now because I am involved in a very important family political project." And to think, he came within 8.5 million votes of becoming the next Roger Clinton.

Worst exit strategy: John Edwards, who, upon being confronted by a National Enquirer reporter at the Beverly Hills Hilton after paying a late-night visit to his former mistress and her child, did what any self-respecting ex-Senator and presidential aspirant with nothing to hide would do. He fled into a bathroom and tried to hold the door shut. Edwards later admitted to the affair, but denied fathering her child. Or, as the humor site Fark reported it: "John Edwards: Billie Jean IS my lover, but the kid is not my son."

Best moment of Palinfreude: The prank call Palin received from a Canadian comedy duo, who convinced her she was talking to President Nicolas Sarkozy of France. Palin didn't pick up on any of the hints that the conversation was a joke, even when the faux Frenchman said, "From my 'ouse, I can see Belgium," or when he complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin' Palin." "Ohh, good, thank you, yes," she replied.

Worst attempt to woo the Fox News demographic: Barack Obama, who was heard at a San Francisco fund-raiser saying that small-town voters are "bitter" and "cling to guns or religion." The remark was so offensive to armed churchgoers, they didn't know whether to turn the other cheek or lock and load.

Most notorious member of the Hypocrites' V.I.P. Club: Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York, who rose to power as a sanctimonious crusader against ethics violations and corruption, but didn't let that get in the way of his taste for high-priced hookers. As Attorney General, Spitzer had famously busted prostitution rings, apparently so he could keep them all for himself. Spitzer was forced to resign after being outed as Client No. 9 at the Emperor's V.I.P. Club. Jay Leno was confused: "He's the governor -- who were the eight guys in front of him? You'd think as governor, you'd at least get to go first."

Worst con artist: Joe the Plumber, who John McCain called his "role model," even though it turned out he didn't have a plumber's license, was unemployed, had cheated on his taxes, and his name wasn't even Joe. As Jimmy Kimmel put it, "He's the Sarah Palin of plumbing."

Best reflexes: President Bush, who dodged two shoes hurled at him by an Iraqi journalist with a dexterity that conjured comparisons to Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. Although, as David Letterman noted, "Too bad he didn't react that way with bin Laden or Katrina, bin Laden or the mortgage crisis, bin Laden or Afghanistan, bin Laden or the Lehman Brothers".

Most courageous under imaginary fire: Hillary Clinton, whose account of dodging sniper fire after landing in Bosnia was debunked when video footage showed her being greeted on the tarmac not by gun shots, but by a young girl's poetry reading. "If only she had channeled that active fantasy world into her marriage," quipped Bill Maher.

Biggest wardrobe malfunction: Palin's $150,000 shopping spree, for which she was reimbursed with an endless barrage of jokes, like this one from Letterman: "The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick, Prada shoes, a Gucci handbag, and a few $3,000 suits."

Biggest talking-point malfunction: Obama's run-in with Joe the Plumber, in which he gave a shout-out to Karl Marx by saying, "I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." Off in the distance, his Teleprompter wept.

Best use of expletives: Gov. Rod Blagojevich of Illinois, who, while allegedly trying to sell Obama's Senate seat, was recorded saying, "I've got this thing and it's [bleeping] golden," "I'm just not giving it up for [bleeping] nothing," and "Give this [bleep] Obama his senator? [Bleep] him. For nothing. [Bleep] him.'" Better still, a day before his arrest, the Governor invited authorities to tape his phone calls, huffing, "I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful." Not to mention bleeping insane.

Best use of a Viking Grill, a vibrating Shiatsu massage lounger, and $250,000 in other gifts: Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska, who became the nation's highest-ranking convicted felon after lying on Senate financial disclosure forms. Naturally, Stevens received a 56-second-long standing ovation after delivering his farewell speech to the Senate, which, as Rachel Maddow of MSNBC noted, worked out to "eight seconds of heartfelt standing applause for each of his felony convictions."

Most brutal Palin insult: It was humiliating enough when McCain aides called Palin a "diva" and a "whack job," while accusing her of "going rogue," throwing temper tantrums, and not knowing that Africa was a continent. But the most devastating sound bite came from a McCain aide who described her shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast."

Best attempt to win imaginary delegates: Barack Obama, who said at an Oregon campaign stop, "I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go."

Best train wreck: The Sarah Palin-Katie Couric interview, which featured one laughable gaffe after the next, including Palin's failure to think of any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade ...

... her failure to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads other than "all of 'em, any of 'em" ...

... and her claim to foreign policy expertise because Vladimir Putin likes to rear his head and fly over Alaskan airspace. It teetered on such self-parody that all Tina Fey had to do on Saturday Night Live was repeat parts of Palin's answers verbatim, gosh darnit, and also there too, you betcha!

Worst campaign surrogate: Bill Clinton, who had to be muzzled during the Democratic primaries after playing the race card and the patriot card against Obama, growling and snapping at reporters, and saying unfortunate things like, "The country is groaning and moaning and screaming for change." As Jay Leno joked, like a lot of women in Washington, Hillary soon realized she had slept with Bill Clinton for nothing.

Cheapest campaign stunt: John McCain, who "suspended" his campaign to go save the economy, said the presidential debate had to be canceled, flew to Washington, screwed up the bailout deal, then un-suspended his campaign and flew to the debate, even though there was no deal. "Usually when a 72-year-old man acts this way, this is when the kids start calling nursing homes," quipped Bill Maher.

Best smackdown following a cheap campaign stunt: When McCain told Letterman he was canceling his appearance on the show because he had to fly to Washington, and then showed up instead for an interview with Katie Couric, Letterman mocked him mercilessly. "Hey John!" Letterman shouted as he aired the live CBS feed of the interview for his audience. "I've got a question: You need a lift to the airport?" It got even uglier for McCain, with Letterman saying: "This is not the way a tested hero behaves. Somebody's putting something in his Metamucil"

Least likely to prevail at a sanity hearing: Obama's former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who burned up YouTube with his fiery rants imploring God to damn America for perpetrating genocide against chickens that came home to roost on 9/11 (or something like that). Despite being widely disparaged as a crackpot, Wright said he received over a million emails and phone calls telling him to keep on speaking out -- "all of them from Hillary Clinton," joked Jay Leno.

Creepiest Palin crush: Rich Lowry, National Review editor, who reacted to Palin's performance in the vice presidential debate thusly: "I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, 'Hey, I think she just winked at me.' And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America." Which left everyone wondering the same thing: When did National Review turn into Penthouse Forum?

Creepiest Obama crush: Chris Matthews of MSNBC, who said that while listening to Obama speak, "I felt this thrill going up my leg".

Best evidence that the next four years may not be a total disaster for political comedy: While on the campaign trail, Joe Biden referred to his running mate as "Barack America"; implored a wheelchair-bound politician to "stand up"; recalled how Franklin Roosevelt addressed the nation on TV when the stock market crashed in 1929 (even though F.D.R. wasn't president and few had even heard of TV at the time); and said Hillary Clinton would have made a better V.P. pick because she was more qualified than him. Thanks to Biden, comedians appear to be getting a stimulus package, too.

Best epitaph on the Bush years: In his parting words at his final G-8 Summit, President Bush ended a private meeting with world leaders by saying, "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." According to press reports, he then punched the air and grinned widely as the rest of those present looked on in shock. Who said he never had an exit strategy?

This piece originally appeared in the New York Times' Laugh Lines blog.

Daniel Kurtzman edits the Political Humor page of About.com, which is part of The New York Times Company. He is author of the books "How to Win a Fight With a Conservative" and "How to Win a Fight With a Liberal."